I dislike going to late movies

Not every late movie or midnight premiere that I have been looking forward to for weeks. Harry Potter and Star Trek don’t apply to what I’m talking about (they’re amazing movies). Rather what comes after seeing the movie; you’re hyped up from the movie and the amount of popcorn and soda that has been in your body for the past three hours and driving home, thinking everyone is still awake! But they’re not and you’re left alone with your thoughts…all of your thoughts.

I understand that graduating college is wonderful and it sucks at the same time and living with your parents is not an ideal situation for an early 20’s female. But those were my thoughts after the midnight showing of The Hobbit: Part 2. Maybe it was the hobbit’s journey, Gandalf’s drinking, or Smaug himself but something was keeping me up pass 4 a.m. I just don’t want to end up alone with nothing but my thoughts and cats. Ugh…I hope the struggle doesn’t last forever.

So, I wrote this after the movie and it made me ten times better, laying my thoughts on paper and finally releasing my insecurities I’ve held on to for so long.

I dislike going to late movies

 

Is scared and alone.

Always scared and lonely.

Is it normal to hate

The thought of death

Without ever knowing

What it is.

 

Nothing to compare it,

Not even a drop of memory

Would help. Is it something

To be afraid of rather than

Some type of celebratory

Swan song?

 

Feeling so unnatural and hallow,

A corpse inside an Egyptian tomb,

Without a brain to remember

His life, time, people of an

Important era.

 

Just as the Black Dalia,

Minus body parts all over.

When it’s there, in a blink, it’s gone

Over and buried to the ground;

           

             Poof.

 

Coming and going every way,

People die every day but no one

Hears about baby being born

Or 10th grade graduation.

Who has the time to stop and look?

 

For now, life is a marathon

Racing thoughts and events

All over the place without

Thinking… is it

Death that’s coming in first.

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