You’re Worth It. Period.

Fresh Off The Presses

So the good news is that this month is finally over. I’ve been having job interviews, which is nice because people are interested in me. I’m beginning to realize though, the difference between what words they use to motivate me and the reality of what the position is. Which is usually a crap, dead-end job that I see myself becoming very unhappy. I sat at the Central West End in St. Louis, thinking to myself after the hiring manager greets me, “I am worth so much more than what they told me.” So I left the interview, sat a little cafe, and started to write like a writer again. And it was so damn refreshing.

Wanting More

Today, I had a thought,

as I sat in the uper cool

and waiting pop-out art room,

‘I’m worth more than this.’

I would rather be loved,

than entry level management,

untamed and uninhibited, 

than unexcited about a boring job I’ll hate,

focus on parts of me to fix and perfect,

instead of sections of sales. Yuck.

This interview can suck it,

without hesitation,

worry about the client,

the nauseous ponder

on marketing through a telephone,

I can honestly tell you all–

that I didn’t need to worry’

wanting to be more than

a no body at the office.

The Unrouted Journey

Fresh Off The Presses

I have been at a standstill with my poetry as of late. Between losing jobs, hit and run, and adjusting to post college society, life has been rough to write about; let alone think about. I wrote this poem probably about a month ago and it’s one of the only poems I seem to like out of the bunch I have written since January. Suggestions are always appreciated!

The Unrouted Journey

Someday will move me,

to drive far away.

Attitudes won’t judge others

for what they’ve been through.

Moments begging to be touched,

all over hips, thighs, lips…

that quiver saying your name.

Lit up the dance floor,

set the bedroom on fire,

burning it up while getting clean.

Showering the place to sin,

washing yourself once more,

only to start where you left.

Afterwards, the tricks for kids

aren’t so childish and new.

So, we drive off, some will be

distant and others will stick,

to the road less traveled.

To find our own meaning,

on the road again and again

Mrs. Independent is back

It has taken me a good while to finally come to terms with myself being single. From sophomore to senior year of college, I had two failed relationships, one of them being the most serious and in love I had ever felt. After it crashed and burned in my face, I went into another state in my mind. Literally. I would try things and do things just to get away from my problems and not think about what would happen later. That my emotional needs weren’t being kept to the point where I felt like a mental basket case for the loveless. I would detached myself from the men I was sleeping around with, until I met “The Boy”. I became Play-Doe and molded myself into whatever I thought he wanted me to be. As it turns out, it only made my mental state worse.

Months had passed and we had a falling out. I thought it was because he didn’t give me a chance to let me be myself. But I was wrong. I was holding on to feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration. Which, for anyone that knows me, I’m not that person. I took me a long time to figure out how screwed up I was after breaking up my one-time serious relationship and diving into situations that were out of my control. I didn’t know how to stop myself; I just kept going until it was enough to make me feel satisfied and good. As soon as I realized it, I began to write more emotional and meaningful poetry and it felt great. No; I felt like myself. Nerdy, weird, quirky, and out-going. Once I was graduated, I began the process of learning more about myself and pick up the pieces that I left behind at Bradley.

It’s been a long time coming, but I feel awesome about myself. I look forward to today and don’t stress about tomorrow. I appreciate things, people, and situations more as they come to me. Fuck stressing out over people and problems that are out of your control; control yourself and let the rest follow.

Should You Connect Your Blog to Your LinkedIn Profile?

So insightful and helpful. I need to start doing this soon so I appreciate the 411.

The Daily Post

Many WordPress.com bloggers are already enjoying the benefits of connecting their sites to their social networks via Publicize. Sharing your posts on Facebook and Twitter might be a no-brainer — clearly, all your friends and followers want to read your latest piece of staggering wit. But what about professional social network LinkedIn?

Here are some points to consider before you decide to push your blog’s content to your professional profile, too.

View original post 912 more words

A True Best Friend Just Knows

Text messages sent back and forth to one of my best friends. Please enjoy the unknown inside world of ‘what do white women love to talk about.’ Take your seats and if you must throw up, do it somewhere that no one will see you.

10/11/13

-Iz-

So Adam’s friend, Mark, just sent a friend request on Facebook. What should I do?

-Sus-

Mark None?

-Iz-

Yeah, that one

-Sus-

I’d go ahead and add him. Adam is the one who uses that page. It was probably him who sent it.

-Iz-

Gotcha

-Sus-

I think it’s kind of funny. Once Adam is out of class, I’ll ask him about it.

-Iz-

Mkay, cool.

-Sus-

Speaking of Adam, has becky posted anything on his wall? Ugh, I have to go see the vagina doctor today. I always feel like they’re judging me if I miss a spot shaving down there. Bahahaha.

-Iz-

I haven’t seen anything. Oh Vagina Monologues, “and then there are those visits”. I don’t like my doctor so my vag is always hairy and untamed, lol.

-Sus-

Okay cool. Thanks girl 🙂 Bahahaha! I love my normal one, but I’m seeing a different lady today since my normal is on vacation. Ugh, this is so traumatic, I feel like she should at least buy me dinner first.

-Iz-

For sure. I need to switch, she has made comments about my vag that I don’t appreciate. Like hen I had my first PAB, she made a rude comment about how tight my vag was and how I need to savor it. I felt so vulnerable. Yeah, they should and ask where you see yourself in 3-5 years.

-Sus-

Bahahaha, 3-5 years. I love it!! Men just don’t understand. If I were you, I would have like ‘sorry we all can’t have gaping vaginas like you!’ Yuck! The receptionist just asked me what I was here for. So I had to announce to the waiting room I was getting std testing. Thanks for the look of judgement’s fellow patrons of Stc. Lol.

-Iz-

Way to be judging stc! She clearly gives no fucks today lol.

-Sus-

Yup, it was Adam who added you. He was like ‘why do you care’ when I asked him. Maybe someone has a little crush on you?!

-Iz-

You can’t be serious

-Sus-

Well, I was serious about him adding you, but not too serious about the crush part. But seriously, he might. For all I know. He likes you a lot, I know that much.

-Iz-

I don’t think he does. Besides he wouldn’t have the balls to ask me out, considering you’re my best friend.

-Sus-

If he did, I would laugh so hard. And buy you two long islands from one world.

-Iz-

Bahahaha I love you.

-Sus-

Which technically makes it three long islands, since I already owe you one. Oh lord, when I’m in Peoria next, we’re getting white girl wasted at 11 am again.

-Iz-

I have no complaints with that lol.

-Sus-

What are you up to tonight?

-Iz-

Staying home and watching the cards game. What are your plans?

-Sus-

Just hanging out on the south side of Chicago in a section 8 neighborhood. Haha! Oh, the places my friends take me to.

-Iz-

Section 8? Oh geez, hopefully they’re taking you to get murdered.

-Sus-

You know sometimes I really hate all men in general.

-Iz-

They can suck in their general field. But yeah, they can be jerks sometimes.

-Sus-

My guy friends just make these tiny comments that just get under my skin. But then if I call them out on it, they just patronize me. Sorry I’m venting.

-Iz-

What kind of comments? Like pig ones? Fuck them, it still isn’t a nice thing to do.

-Sus-

Yes, piggish and Jamar like comments. I found myself wishing there was another girl. I just felt ganged up on. Omg. This totally sounds like a Dr. Phil episode.

-Iz-

Gotcha, how rude. Are there no chicks at this place? Are they saying it to you or while in conversation?

-Sus-

Both. And thankfully, one of the guys girlfriends just came over so I’m not alone. I just wish we were equal, like really equal.

-Iz-

If that ever happened, we wouldn’t have sexual harassment at work and women can talk about how small guys dicks were during a one night stand by the water cooler. We all wish for your kind of equality though.

-Sus-

Ugh, my friend Louis just grabbed my side. Like just grabbed it. Then made a joke about me not being ticklish. I just want to go home 😦 I feel so…invaded….I’m sorry, I’m being annoying. Hope you’re having a fun night 🙂

-Iz-

1) Yes he is a douche. 2) don’t let that guy bring you down. 3) not at all 🙂

-Sus-

You know, you just get me.

-Iz-

Lol, I try

“Pour yourself …

“Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” Elizabeth Taylor

My friend Morgan found this for me when I was going through the toughest semester at Bradley. Sitting on my bed with essays, notes, and scrap paper covering half of the surface, I wanted to pull my hair out. My phone sends me a notification about a photo posted on my Facebook wall. These quote saved my day and probably my whole semester if I didn’t stop to take the time and read the quote.